Pieces to the Puzzle: The Basics

I am still fascinated by the simplicity and beauty of the puzzle I watched being put together yesterday. In my desire to share it with everyone, I tried to look back at the pictures and experiences along the way. Rummaging through the pieces of the puzzle, I realized that I do not know where to start. All the fragments were flying around causing nothing but confusion.

I lowered my inner eye as to not to get dizzy with the carousel of the memories, and in an instance saw where the problem was.

I cannot begin a story from somewhere, for it starts with ME. All the pieces, no matter how exciting or magical, have no value unless I have integrated them into my space. That space is in my heart, and it is a very sacred one.

Rationally speaking, while walking trough life, we keep memories of our experiences. Those include thoughts, feelings, emotions, and, at times, physical marks. A recollection of those memories in any form keeps them alive. In doing so, we are still living in those experiences. And while with the idea of simultaneous times we live other realities in parallel though staying whole, living in a moment shared with vivid memories of the past or fantasies for future puts us in a position of a disassembled puzzle. We are literally scattered all over the time-space continuum.

I still had to catch up with the puzzle: I had to begin with ME.

After many years of working on bridging logic of science with the depth and flexibility of spiritual thinking, I was back where I started: I do not love myself unconditionally. I never accept myself fully, and I never allow my woman to be who she is. Simple. But not easy, since it requires trust. My formal education consists of mathematics and statistics, which does not include trust or feelings.

What I understand now is that trusting and allowing one’s feelings is more important in life than Fermat’s last theorem prove or even the Schrödinger equation. Seriously. Why? Because some things you cannot quantify or rationalize about, but you still feel it. You can play with you mind, but you cannot trick your physical or emotional bodies. You can, however, mistrust it. And go into pain.

From my experience, to march into something like that takes a moment, but to step out of it may take days, or even years. A choice of some sort…

But fear not, for all of us have such a wealth of experience that we can maneuver quite easily through our life by now. There is only one requirement: to stay in your heart, to stay balanced in your inner parent-adult-child relationship (I see it aligned vertically) and your inner feminine-masculine aspects (left-right balance), and to take a good care of Self.

And only now, when we have good basics for one’s life puzzle, we can look at the pieces. Let me know when you are ready.