Everything Lovable

From a Masculine to a Feminine, or
from a Spirit Self to a physical self

The way you walk,
The way you talk,
The way you look
And smile at me.

The way you turn
Your pretty head
And shake your curls
That bounce softly.

The way you’re mad,
The way you’re sad,
The way you look
When you’re upset.

The way you glow,
The way you speak,
The way you laugh,
And the way you blink.

Your hands, your shoulders,
Legs and all;
Your voice and words,
Your funny notes.

Your love for life,
And life in you;
Your beauty
That is always new.

You are a dream,
You are a gift,
You’re all I ever
Could imagine.

But you are more
Than I can say
And try to hide,
Or dare to manage.

June 16, 2012

P.S. Since it is a gift, I dare not to edit it.
It is a sonnet but not within a poetry frame.
It is a language but outside of the rules.
It is a song of the heart in the light of love,
and I simply allowed it to be in word form,
with gratitude and appreciation, humbled,
and happy that I was able to catch it - it was so fast!

On Wealth/ О Благосостоянии

Вы заметили, что деньги работают лишь там, где они были заработаны. Никакое перераспределение денег не приводит к ожидаемому результату.

Have you noticed that money works only where they were earned, allowed. No redistribution of money leads to an expected result.

Благосостояние - это состояние бытия, а не результат "делания".

Wealth is a state of being, not a result of doing.

03-13-12 11:11 pm

Celestial Art

Celestial Art: A Triangular Frame for the X-Class Solar Flares

March 10, 2012, Princeton, NJ

12-21-11

Happy Winter Solstice!

Astrologically, this Solstice occurs tomorrow morning, at around 5 o'clock (EST). However, many are holding a ceremony tonight. Wherever you are in the world, whenever you choose to free the time for yourself, focus your attention on your heart and hold an intention for joy to the world, goodwill toward all, and peace on Earth. Thank you!

There is an amazing year ahead of us: How do you choose to experience it? Here is a platform you have just anchored in your heart. Congratulations!

Picture credits: www.masteringalchemy.com

Initiation

***
August 8, 2009
Cape Cod, MA





















Painting by Wojtek Siudmak
http://www.siudmak.com/
---------------
***This piece is no longer available here. It now appears as a part of a collection Orange Wings: Poetry of The Shift in digital and printed formats.

Look for Orange Wings on Amazon.com:

Orange Wings [Kindle Edition]
Publisher: com.Unity; 1 edition (April 1, 2012)
ASIN: B007QOVWPK

Orange Wings [Paperback]
Publisher: CreateSpace; 1 edition (April 30, 2012)
ISBN-13: 978-1475286663
ISBN-10: 147528666X

Follow Orange Wings on Facebook:
www.facebook.com/orange.wings.poetry

The T-change

A lot is changing these days. What is new? Perhaps, constantly increasing level of excitement about our journey - and the changes themselves.

A change I would like to talk about today I see as a shift between two lines, a vertical and a horizontal, connected as in the letter T. So, I called it a T-change.

A few months ago, about January 14th according to my notes, I was surprised to learn that the Feminine exists along the horizontal line in our reality. My mental analyzer jumped in quickly enough, so there was not much information I received after that. But a feeling that it is an essential piece of a puzzle remained.

Today I saw a shift in the T-shape going from being upside down to its proper position. There is a connection to the balancing of the Feminine and Masculine that takes place now, specifically between the two eclipses, the lunar on the 7th and the solar on the 21-22nd of the month. Those two events are assisting with the balancing of the two aspects - something we lost in the Fall of Atlantis.

In short, the way it was: The horizontal line on the bottom supporting the vertical line was literally pinned to the ground yet not grounded. The vertical line was "assigned" to provide the connection to the higher realms, but was busy balancing itself on top.

The way it is now, a T-reality: The horizontal line being placed on top supported by a vertical line that can balance itself effortlessly providing a grounding line for the Feminine. The harmony and inner balance followed, resulting in an unconditional Trust.

A divine union is restored, and all are welcome to feel and experience it. Just remember: It is about You, and the place to look for the changes is inside, in your heart and your observer's mind. And it is a happy change for everyone, so do not forget to enjoy!

New Land, New Constructions

I had a conversation with a friend today, and she asked to make a note here of what we created for future references. Enjoy.

We've been talking about self-sabotage that was mentioned in the June 15th post Competition vs Balance. It has been in her thoughts since, my friend said. I did not feel we need to focus on that, so we moved on... to working with it.

She talked about a triangular construction of words, resistance being a part of it, and the fact that she is looking for a missing part of the geometry. With self-sabotage and self-resistance, the connotation was rather negative. And then, animation started on the mind's virtual screen:

Self-sabotage lost the second part, and the Self effortlessly glided to the top of the pyramid's face. Self-resistance let go of the first part, and Resistance took its assigned post at the left base corner of the construction. The freed Self- shifted to the right one where it found its second half - Love. The triangle was created, and my friend reported a sense of completion of the task.

I looked around. Now, where did the sabotage go? No longer being attached to Self, it simply dissolved. But what happened to the Self? All the light previously hidden by the sabotage is now in a clear sight! What a beauty! What a Light!

The concept of Resistance lost its negative context with the change of its vector: It serves its purpose by defining the boundaries of a healthy personal space and keeping the shape of it from the inside.

The Self-Love is very simply reminds us of being nice to oneself at any moment.

That's where we stopped today. But this triangle reminded me of the one we had built together a few months ago, on January 09.

The triad of the words was: Shine - Relax - Trust.

Inscribed in the triangle there was a circle labeled The Joy of Being, and the the whole construction was contained in the all-encompassing circle The Beauty of All That Is.

Below, there were the following writings:

Trust when you fall apart
Shine when you feel in dark
Relax when you feel burning
This is [a] formula of Soul's life
It is [the] alchemy that is deeply and truly metaphysical
Trust, Relax, Shine.

Till tetrahedron then...

‘Til June

I am taking a sabbatical until 06-06-09 when I am back from Nevada.

Meanwhile, there is plenty of information around to contemplate. And reading the same words on two different days will give you completely different insights. As always, listen to your heart and accept as your truth only what resonates with you. Remember, that every one has their own truth, and what others think about you is none of your business.

We are starting a year-long program with Mastering Alchemy and Jim Self tomorrow. The excitement is growing, and the amount of ongoing work is amazing. Yet, it is done in joy and playfulness that life deserves. For more information and downloadable materials see http://www.masteringalchemy.com/, and for some reflections of my experience, Mastering Alchemy from March 31, 2009.

A navigation tip for this site: for reading poetry only, click on Improvisation category under Labels, and turn on your smile.

Be happy – just because you can :)

With much love from the Heart,

Tatyana

Just A Memory

Do you realize how much we live in our memories, no matter how old those are? And if we feel something while bringing a memory to our mind, or, otherwise, going back to that time and place, we charge it with the energy of real life. It is not. So, what we do then is stretching our [physical] being over time and space.

Can your physical body hold such tension for long time? Not really. Hence, sense of insecurity, lack of balance and trust, worries and fears - you name it. And not surprisingly: Your body is literally all over the place! After a short while, pains and illnesses start to show up. You begin to fight them spreading yourself even thinner.

Stop right now, wherever you are.

Do you want to be healthy and happy? This is one single memory you need right now, for your body remembers how to. Let it.

Right at this moment, start to listen to your thoughts and your words. What are they about? If there is anything in there not about this very moment, release it. We all know, in theory that is, that past is just a memory and future does not exist, so each of them is just an illusion. Why to care? Why to worry?

You've got your precious moments of here and now, and that is all you've got. Use it - or lose it.

Start living right now, and watch a beautiful smile appear on your face. That is the true You: Happy and healthy, and it never was otherwise. Watch all your worries and pains disappear "miraculously", and know that You did it. And if one day you find yourself bathing in those memories of lost treasures of yours, just say, "Oops! I forget: The treasure is right here, in my heart, and it is only real in a fairytale of this moment."

Everything else is just a memory, a memory to be released graciously and with a smile from the heart.

What a beautiful world we create with our hearts at this moment!

With much love from the Heart,

ME

Thoughts from Curaçao

April 08, 2009

Q: What am I trying to understand today? What was that notion of a Big Day in my small notebook about?

A: Here we go again: questions. And yet, there is no learning from experiences without questioning every step on the way. By “questioning” we do not mean doubt, but feeling your way. That at times is being expressed in words. Let’s do it.

Today was a big day indeed. Why? Because you really started anew. After what was done yesterday with the hologram of the planet* and that what you did this morning with the feminine**, you can fully ground Mother Goddess to Earth. And you are actually in the process of doing it***. Ground it now, and we’ll continue in the morning.

-------------
Comments:
added April 27, 2009

* Our planet has evolved into a star. And though it is a process, not a result, it is an incredibly powerful moment in the cosmos. How many would understand that? Perhaps, some one. How many will feel the change, is a whole different question.

** The history of abuse of our feminine side – for both genders – was healed. As soon as we willingly release it, it will be gone from humanity’s memories. Just imagine living in that balance!

*** The process was completed (although it is not a right word, for a process never stops in the higher dimensions, it evolves) on Friday, April 24th, a day of new moon, during a Kaanish Belvaspata session (Almine’s website for this healing modality: http://www.belvaspata.org/faq/31-general-belvaspata/52-kaanish-belvaspata.html). It was the first experience of cosmic travel in a physical body. (Oops, someone might say they know what it is! Well, I may be an old-fashioned person, but I happen to never in my life try any drugs, for my curiosity took a whole different path of clearing my mind, not the other way around.)

P.S. I am excited that there are people reading this who have not a slightest idea of what it is that I am talking about (except for the drugs part, of course), since soon it will be common knowledge, and we'll forget we ever thought it is not real!

Pieces to the Puzzle: The Doors

It is still work-in-progress for me, step by step.

After a visit to the neurologist’s office for a test today, I was back to the beginning of my recovery a year ago. How could that happen? After half an hour of a computer based test that was easy for me content wise, I was dizzy, nauseated, developed a headache, and once again could not look at a computer screen. Welcome back to March of 2008!

I had to find the way into Today. What could possibly pull ME back there? I thought there is no way back… Wait a second: the ways… the doorways!

Maybe I am not such a good learner after all. How could I forget – after so many instances – that every time I leave a situation, it takes a door to be properly shut behind to ensure all my aspects stay with ME. How many of those doors I had closed lately? How many times I rejoiced in my wholeness afterwards? Learning, still.

I spent half a day on physical recovery. I was better by midnight, and I had to postpone my writing. In short, I had to open my eyes to see what doors still stay open. And I was arrogant enough to think I live with my eyes open!

Those hours, recovering, I also spent with Kleenex in my hand. Do you know how much liquid can human eyes produce??? Erratum: woman’s eyes.

One by one, I checked that all the doors that supposed to be shut stayed that way. I also knew that I do not need to check on every single loss, adversity, or betrayal to be sealed out of my being. The same was true about happy memories: no matter how great it was, I can no longer live my past; it is gone.

Letting go of all that is not a piece of this moment, I felt more and more complete. With that, my feminine part gained power in Her voice – and Her heart… What do I do now?

I’ll live another day. And though it feels like Little Mermaid’s newly obtained legs, I dance. It worth the pain, and I am happy – in spite of an unexpected gust of wind that slammed a wide-open window to eternity at my face. I am learning to love myself – my whole new balanced self.

And only now all the doors of opportunities will magically open, for I am ready to accept the miracles humbly, without proposing any wanting or needing. I know better now.

Pieces to the Puzzle: The Basics

I am still fascinated by the simplicity and beauty of the puzzle I watched being put together yesterday. In my desire to share it with everyone, I tried to look back at the pictures and experiences along the way. Rummaging through the pieces of the puzzle, I realized that I do not know where to start. All the fragments were flying around causing nothing but confusion.

I lowered my inner eye as to not to get dizzy with the carousel of the memories, and in an instance saw where the problem was.

I cannot begin a story from somewhere, for it starts with ME. All the pieces, no matter how exciting or magical, have no value unless I have integrated them into my space. That space is in my heart, and it is a very sacred one.

Rationally speaking, while walking trough life, we keep memories of our experiences. Those include thoughts, feelings, emotions, and, at times, physical marks. A recollection of those memories in any form keeps them alive. In doing so, we are still living in those experiences. And while with the idea of simultaneous times we live other realities in parallel though staying whole, living in a moment shared with vivid memories of the past or fantasies for future puts us in a position of a disassembled puzzle. We are literally scattered all over the time-space continuum.

I still had to catch up with the puzzle: I had to begin with ME.

After many years of working on bridging logic of science with the depth and flexibility of spiritual thinking, I was back where I started: I do not love myself unconditionally. I never accept myself fully, and I never allow my woman to be who she is. Simple. But not easy, since it requires trust. My formal education consists of mathematics and statistics, which does not include trust or feelings.

What I understand now is that trusting and allowing one’s feelings is more important in life than Fermat’s last theorem prove or even the Schrödinger equation. Seriously. Why? Because some things you cannot quantify or rationalize about, but you still feel it. You can play with you mind, but you cannot trick your physical or emotional bodies. You can, however, mistrust it. And go into pain.

From my experience, to march into something like that takes a moment, but to step out of it may take days, or even years. A choice of some sort…

But fear not, for all of us have such a wealth of experience that we can maneuver quite easily through our life by now. There is only one requirement: to stay in your heart, to stay balanced in your inner parent-adult-child relationship (I see it aligned vertically) and your inner feminine-masculine aspects (left-right balance), and to take a good care of Self.

And only now, when we have good basics for one’s life puzzle, we can look at the pieces. Let me know when you are ready.

The Puzzle

When I look at people, I see love and light.
They see a reflection that seems way too bright.
They choose to ignore it and fall into fear.
Attachment replaces then loving what’s dear.
- From The Journey

Today’s morning started in a gloom of thoughts about futility of our efforts.

“No more stoning needed, No more suffering be…” Am I naïve, or what?

I was able to listen to the last couple of minutes of Almine’s talk show yesterday. She said that we can walk on water now. Maybe we can, alright, but will we choose to?

I will most certainly not. At least, until every one realizes they can do it too. But how can they, if their pockets are weighted down by the stones ready to be thrown at those carrying too much light?

I almost accepted my role as a mirror for others. After all, each of us is a mirror for our fellow humans. And yet, I am weary to hear again and again that the reflections they see belong to me. I do not argue. I do not even attempt helping these days! I need help myself. I refuse to be stoned ever again.

Something has to change. What is it?

Once again, I see the shapes from my pictures, from yesterday’s painting, and the images I remember from my recent journeys. But this time, I see the puzzle effortlessly being solved in front of me, until…

The puzzle is solved!!!

I know now what those shapes were about!

I know what Almine referred to as an ancient mountain of power, the Sacred Mountain of the Heart, the heart chakra of the Earth.

I witnessed as the Crystal Tower of the Heart Power has fully surfaced and is firmly standing on the Floor now.

Forget everything I said in the beginning! Life worth every bit of effort, every bruise, every tear, and every heartbeat! Life is absolutely beautiful, and life is love.

Live fully, in harmony, beauty, and joy, and love fearlessly.

Espavo.

Stepping into Spring

We celebrated the first full day of spring in the City today. After awakening yesterday to a snow-covered grounds while there was nothing but a promise of a warm and sunny day in the forecast, I wished for no more surprises. The spring equinox brought morose to my being, and my intention was to get over with it and step into the spring with a proudly raised head.

We went to the Neue Galerie in New York to see a recently opened BRÜCKE: The Birth of Expressionism. It was an unforgettable experience, for both the colors of the paintings and the language of our tour guide were very much in harmony with my heart. The words she used made my friend to comment that our guide must have read my website... Meanwhile, the paintings created a hundred years ago in the chill of German winters were shining at me with the colors and spirit of a tropical island. I felt at home.

At the end of her tour, the guide gave us a detailed analysis of the Gustav Klimt's legendary Adele Bloch-Bauer I. You can read a lot about this piece and the woman herself, but what suddenly became apparent to me was the Beauty. I have to admit it was the first time I really appreciated this painting. And as I looked at the portrait with an open heart, I began to see the power of the Feminine depicted there embraced by shimmering background of gold, and yet more luminous than any precious material surrounding her.

I began to see many shapes that were talking to me: I have been seeing a lot of those lately. Spirals, triangles, squares, Egyptian symbols of sacred eye, and soft lines depicting dynamic flows were in front of my eyes. And the moment I realized the many aspects I was looking at, our guide started to talk about those shapes, one by one. I was in bliss.

She mentioned that a master who made the frame for the painting was obsessed with the perfection of a square. So, he made a square frame creating, however, an adjacent one as a border under the painting. The reason? Same as was used for icons within altars: A goddess cannot stand on the floor.

I recalled reading about initiation rituals in the Temples of Isis:

The floor is the foundation upon which one stands. When we set something to be secure, we place it on the floor. So, the floor was used as a type of slang within the Temples, referring to the very basic piece that is required.
…

Essential to the female Initiate is the authentic feeling of safety and love, or appreciation at the very least. When these are in place, something within her being lets go and allows the alchemy to occur … this causes the female to open her magnetic floor. [1]

The painting is of a goddess. And it is too obvious that the woman she was never found the appreciation she deserved. She never grounded her magnetic floor.

“Was she the artist’s wife?” my friend almost asked, but instantly laughed at her own words. “But, of course, the one who lived with her had no idea who she truly was. The artist, in contrast, was able to see and reflect her true nature in his painting. Who can possibly live with a goddess, knowing?”

Her words echoed with a piercing pain. Could she be wrong?

------------------------------
Ref: [1] Kenyon, T. & Sion, J. The Magdalen Manuscript, Sounds, Boulder, CO, 2006, p. 285.

Impromptu

***
December 16, 2008
Princeton, NJ

--------------
P.S. The class today is so profound I feel it will take time to integrate what was said and what we as the group have done with Almine.

I am still amazed how much the vibrations of those lines from Transmutation and Impromptu match what is being said in class today. What a harmony!

I just had a [virtual] cheer leading session from my son after I received a body of information about units of measurement and lines of communications. Thank you!





Sunset on Curaçao, February 11, 2009. Photo: Lucy Dashkevich.

----------------
***This piece is no longer available here. It now appears as a part of a collection Orange Wings: Poetry of The Shift in digital and printed formats.

Look for Orange Wings on Amazon.com:

Orange Wings [Kindle Edition]
Publisher: com.Unity; 1 edition (April 1, 2012)
ASIN: B007QOVWPK

Orange Wings [Paperback]
Publisher: CreateSpace; 1 edition (April 30, 2012)
ISBN-13: 978-1475286663
ISBN-10: 147528666X

Follow Orange Wings on Facebook:
www.facebook.com/orange.wings.poetry

Transmutation

***
December 5, 2008
Princeton, NJ
-----------------

P.S. We are talking about Transformation - Transmutation - Transfiguration today with Almine. I was guided to make the words above public, and here it is. All I know it has a profound meaning in today's process of stepping out of illusion and accepting our life as true Life, and not as a way out of death. The latter is not real - it never had been. Live your life fully and fill it with Beauty - there is so much space cleared today that was occupied by fear and conformity until now. Enjoy!




Willemstad, Curaçao, N. A.: View from our hotel window at the time of sunrise and sunset on February 9, 2009.
----------------
***This piece is no longer available here. It now appears as a part of a collection Orange Wings: Poetry of The Shift in digital and printed formats.

Look for Orange Wings on Amazon.com:

Orange Wings [Kindle Edition]
Publisher: com.Unity; 1 edition (April 1, 2012)
ASIN: B007QOVWPK

Orange Wings [Paperback]
Publisher: CreateSpace; 1 edition (April 30, 2012)
ISBN-13: 978-1475286663
ISBN-10: 147528666X

Follow Orange Wings on Facebook:
www.facebook.com/orange.wings.poetry