"Mum, I am ready," he said.
As he was reminding me of a promise to read to him before bed, he noticed tears in my eyes.
"What is it, Mommy?" he inquired, tenderness of the world in his voice.
"It is just a movie," I replied.
"What movie?"
"Last Holiday, I told you already. We started to watch it with my friends today, but I could not stay to the end because I had to be home for your return from school. But I liked it a lot, so I want to finish watching."
It was unusual for my son to see me sitting on a coach and watching a movie, I have to admit.
"Is it a sad story?" he asked wiping remaining tears off my face.
"No, it is just beautiful."
"What is it about?"
"It is about love."
"But you said it was about life!" he stated with a resentment in his voice, for he never liked to be misled.
I laughed as his words made me realize that it was my upbringing that gave him an idea he just reflected back to me. My entire life has been just a surrogate for true being.
The love for life was replaced with survival.
The love for my children possessed by protectiveness.
The love in my personal life crashed under the unbearable load of responsibilities.
The joy of life -the glue that keeps Life and Love together - was missing.
And my tears earlier were in realization that a year ago in that car crush I could've been gone never knowing that Love and Life are inseparable, integral parts of One's being.
***
I am the Mother; I am the Teacher; I am the Ambassador of Light for my children. But more importantly, I am the Author of The Book of My Life, and there is no one to write that for me.
All I have around me - people, relationships, material world - is but a reflection of my Love for Life, namely, the Joy of Being. It does not depend on anyone or anything outside of Me.
***
The last word brought a memory from a week ago.
We are on Curaçao; our hosts showing us the island. Suddenly, a sign many of which waive along the road catches my attention. A single word Welcome is printed on. But this one has a part torn off.
"What is missing?" I feel a demand to find the answer.
The two last letters are gone. What are they? What does it mean?
It takes me time to finally see the missing part: ME. The last two letters in the word WELCOME is ME.
Welcome to reality...
I am seemingly showing much more density as I choose to stand in my passion...
Photo by Lucy Dashkevich. Curaçao, February 10 & 12, 2009
And no, no editing was done to any of the pictures. What's the point? :)
Posted by Tatyana Petrovicheva
P.S. For Almine's students: translation from the Mysteries of Isis.
I will return to my beloved
When time is right on my behalf
The world will know truth by then
You'll share it and they understand
On Figure forty eight are shown
The gifts to Earth as rivers flown
The Ocean reveals at last
Of how creation starts its best.
*United * in Love * for Infinity*
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